What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

TEXT:

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

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Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

A kid threw a stone at my car. I confronted his mom (who was nearby). She said, "You can't prove it was my son." How should I have reacted?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Is it okay for a wife who comes home from a date to tell her husband what she did?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why are North Carolina Democrats against Mark Robinson? He is the modern Martin Luther King Jr. and the Democrats are being stupid for not voting him.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

How do I get off Paxil?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Make Nazis afraid again!

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.